i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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