So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
two words: eviction party
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
