so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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