dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
