So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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