): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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