i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
