If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
