Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize