Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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