ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Farmville is her only friend.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
