So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
