Your tits are I can't wait for
that's an acceptable place to lick
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
