Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
