She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize