The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
