His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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