So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
