i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
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