No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
