I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
