Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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