Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
