I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
