i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
