Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
