Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
