there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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