She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
