So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
