I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize