Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize