Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
