that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I think I sprained my soul last night
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
