Acid is not a monday night drug
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
