I'm sorry my penis didn't work
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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