Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
