There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
