Can Purell be used as lube?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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