After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
