My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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