I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
