Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
