How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
