So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
