im having a threesome with these popsicles
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
