Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
