I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
