Don't make out with my wife yet
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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