i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize