how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize