Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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