Just cropdusted the office
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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