420 ftw
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I touched a dick in church today
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
