I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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