She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She's the barista slut.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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