i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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