New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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