problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
