C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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