where am i from again
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Randomize
