If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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