I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
