yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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