I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
